A Malicious Mistress: Cold War Kids’ Dear Miss Lonelyhearts

by Charissa Lock

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts,

I am writing to inform you that you are quite successful and memorable from the jamming keys in “Miracle Mile” to the ballad vocal finale and creeping drum beat of “Bitter Poem”.  The addictive emotional vibrato that casts a delicious glare throughout is quite electric and sexy.  You certainly know how to casually take my uncertain hand and lead me through thirty-six minutes of your distinguished and refreshing melodies and bridges.

Let me start at the moment when I first heard your overwhelmingly popularized “Miracle Mile”.  You, of course, knew it would be quite lovely and cherished by a magnitude of listeners, but I am generally not attracted to such mainstream nature.  However, you wild vixen stole my skeptical heart with all the 80s, falsetto, Killers-esque attitude, claiming me, another, under your spell.  From that point on, I feel that I had neither a chance nor a choice to change my childish obsession.   As you continued to make advances, I worried that it may all be monotonous, as exciting things tend to become with the implementing of too many entertaining moments at once.  You playfully put into place compositional differences feathered with that glorious vocal to remind me that every moment you whisper is unique.

How truly overwhelming this journey has been, as much jubilation we share at times, there are also the quiet, slower-paced fragments of time.   It is those that you come across entirely honest and realistic.  Most predominately towards the end, I feel a significant tug of my heartstrings, characterized by the delicate nature and slow rumbling of drums.  I even see your name has made quite a bold appearance in the slowest and sexiest moment, like I should assume any differently from you.

Undoubtedly, when you have me cornered with upbeat and catchy synth I also feel breathless.  You may be thinking I’m just saying this because, let’s face it, you are so often flattered and have become accustomed to such words of praise.  Yet, my constant repetition of “Bottled Affection” is well, uncorked.   I want to raise this to high volumes, soaring over others in biased affluence.   You had me with clapping then flirted further with elongated choruses.  Your ability to balance multiple arrangements and layer them so simply creating the most extraordinary piece of you.

My admiration of your tantalizing tendencies is given with all due respect.  All you have had to offer has been in good taste and in return I am thankful and can only offer these carefully provocative and flattering words as a response.   I blush at your eccentrically sophisticated scarlet drawing calling attention to yourself, enticing the ignorant to take full ownership and to experience your wonder as did I.  Though I cannot promise that I will not be jealous.

All my undying love,

Your Unexpected Lover 

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